Six Months Ago

Six Months ago today I had my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.  I remember thinking at the start of my 2 week preop diet that I didn't know how I would get through the next 8 weeks......2 weeks of preop diet, 3 weeks of liquid diet and 3 weeks of a soft diet.  I was/am a food addict and 8 weeks of food restriction seemed insurmountable.  Finally, six months ago today the preop diet was done and it was surgery day!  My first postop memories were are of waking up in severe pain with my back arched begging for more pain meds all while wondering what in the heck (okay, I was really thinking the other word) I'd done to myself and wishing I could go back.  Ya know, like being able to push the rewind button like you can on your DVR?  Yeah, I hurt that bad and little did I know I would deal with some significant pain issues until I reached 1 month postop.  The early days were rough for me.  Besides all the pain, it felt like more than a full-time job just trying to get in all my fluids, protein, "food" and vitamins.  I thought this is now what my life was going to be like and it was....sort of.  The pain slowly subsided and those feelings of being overwhelmed and it taking so much energy and work just to do the basics of life only lasted a short time.  Then, life became more normal again.  A new normal.  My stomach was now so much smaller and I'd no longer ever be able to eat huge quantities at one time, but wasn't that the point of all this?  Yeah, it was so now my normal is a new normal that I LOVE!  Bright and early just before 6 am on June 5, 2012 my surgeon came in and asked me "are you ready to do this?"  Not knowing how I'd regret it just a short time later, I confidently said "yup, I sure am.  Are you though?"  He told me he was.  He then told me that after surgery I may not like him for awhile but I would get over that and soon enough he would be one of my favorite people.  I listened and understood what he meant.  I'd had surgery before.  This couldn't be any worse, right?  That of course meant I understood that statement he'd just made.  It was only minutes later I was given the relaxtion medicine that made me fall asleep soon thereafter without being able to absorb many more memories.  The next thing I new, I was awake. It was over and I was in PAIN!  Pain like I'd never felt beofre.  I knew for sure I certainly didn't like my surgeon at that point and he definitely wasn't on the top of my list of favorite people in my life.  Heck, at that point, I don't think he was even anywhere on the list.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into when he made that seemingly oblivious statement about me not liking him at first.  Now, and only now, I knew what he meant and I knew with 100% certainty that just a short time earlier I didn't REALLY understand that statement he'd made just before 6 am.  BUT I DID NOW! Oh boy did I!  I understood it loud and clear!  Now, as I sit here 6 months later, I know my surgeon is on that list of my favorite people and he's pretty darn far up on it too.  What he did was give me a tool I needed to reclaim my life back and to set me on my journey back to me, as I say.  Today, I am fully recovered from surgery and am down 76 pounds and am no longer on blood pressure medicine. Prior to surgery, people would've described me as a happy person.  I've always been a happy person...on the outside.  On the inside I wasn't happy or optimistic.  My life was being controlled by food and I was gaining weight at a steady pace.  I started a diet more times that I can even remember only to be right back to unhealthy eating within days and sometimes even within the same day as the diet started.  I was extrememly obese at 304 pounds and I had high blood pressure because of it.  I feared being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.  My body hurt all over all the time and I never saw a doctor with any of my complaints because I knew I was the cause of it.  I just suffered both physically and mentally while still appearing to be my happy self that everyone has always known me to be.  Today, I am still obese at 228 pounds but my life is totally different.  I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel now than I did 76 pounds ago.  I still have some aches and pains that I suspect will go away with continued weight loss, but they are no where what they were at 304 pounds.  Life in my body is so much better physically and mentally.  Some people pick their eyes or their legs or some other body part as the favorite part of their body.  If you ask me, I will tell you unequivocally it's my sleeve....something I can't see but something that I know is there everyday helping me become the me I want to be.  Helping me save my life.  What other body part could trump that as my favorite body part?  None.....EVER!