This is already a roller coaster ride and not the fun kind either. I only managed to drink 1 of my 2 protein shakes today. I just couldn't stomach the 2nd one today. I JUST FREAKIN' HATE ARTIFICAL SWEETENERS!!!! I have no idea how in the heck I am going to do this. This totally sucks!!!! Ever since lunch, I just can't bring myself to believe that I can do this. How am I going to drink protein shakes that I hate for at least 5 weeks (2 weeks preop and at least 3 weeks postop)? I really don't know if I can do it. I really don't. I've tried no less than 8 and still can't find one that I can't taste the artificial sweetner in. I thought the Premier Protein Shakes were it, but nope. Just another one on the list of ones I don't like. I want this surgery so very much, but I just don't know if I will be able to get to that point. I haven't quit YET. I have moments where I tell myself I can do this, but those really are just words coming out of my mouth. There really isn't any belief in those words right now. It doesn't help either that I feel like crap. My sinuses are just messed up. I don't know if I am still healing from surgery or if I am getting sick. I really think it is the latter based on the new symptoms that developed over the last few days. Crap! I just am not liking life right now. Yeah, I'm whining ALOT in this post but I can because it is my blog and my place to do it. For anyone who may be reading, I'd like to be my usual self and put on a happy face and pretend I know everything will be okay, but I just truly don't know that right now and therefore I truly can't pretend. Not tonight anyway!
~Amy
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