Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Preop Diet - Day 2

This is already a roller coaster ride and not the fun kind either.  I only managed to drink 1 of my 2 protein shakes today.  I just couldn't stomach the 2nd one today.  I JUST FREAKIN' HATE ARTIFICAL SWEETENERS!!!!  I have no idea how in the heck I am going to do this.  This totally sucks!!!!  Ever since lunch, I just can't bring myself to believe that I can do this.  How am I going to drink protein shakes that I hate for at least 5 weeks (2 weeks preop and at least 3 weeks postop)?  I really don't know if I can do it.  I really don't.  I've tried no less than 8 and still can't find one that I can't taste the artificial sweetner in.  I thought the Premier Protein Shakes were it, but nope.  Just another one on the list of ones I don't like.  I want this surgery so very much, but I just don't know if I will be able to get to that point.  I haven't quit YET.  I have moments where I tell myself I can do this, but those really are just words coming out of my mouth.  There really isn't any belief in those words right now.  It doesn't help either that I feel like crap.  My sinuses are just messed up.  I don't know if I am still healing from surgery or if I am getting sick.  I really think it is the latter based on the new symptoms that developed over the last few days.  Crap!  I just am not liking life right now.  Yeah, I'm whining ALOT in this post but I can because it is my blog and my place to do it.  For anyone who may be reading, I'd like to be my usual self and put on a happy face and pretend I know everything will be okay, but I just truly don't know that right now and therefore I truly can't pretend.  Not tonight anyway!

~Amy

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